Coffee dates are increasingly becoming more popular. A coffee date is an opportunistic social relation, whereby you can get more acquitted to people.
However, an invitation to a coffee date can mean several things. For some people, it is an opportunity to know whether someone they have newly met is a possible match. For others, it could be a chance to hold a business interview.
So how do you respond to a coffee date in the first place? In this comprehensive guide, we will show you how to respond to someone who asks you for a coffee date.
What does it Mean When Someone Asks you for a Coffee Date?
Coffee shops often have a relaxed and calm ambiance. They are great places for holding dates and meetings. When someone asks you for a coffee date, it means they are likely to get more personal or less official towards you. They are likely to exchange personal information, establish a relationship or friendship, or make business deals.
How to Say Yes to a Coffee Date
If someone asks you for a coffee date or asks you to grab coffee together, you may wonder what they are up to. If you are interested in finding out what they are up to or you do not mind spending some time with them, accept the invite. Ensure you make your acceptance for the date clear. Your response should not be vague. A clear “Yes” is good enough.
In case you would like to go for the date but might be held up during the proposed time or day, respond with a clear reply. Tell the person you will be busy at that particular time. You can propose an alternative day for the coffee date. An ideal response would be something like “I would like to join you, but I will be busy that day. How about we meet over the weekend, say Saturday”.
If you give a clear “Yes” response, but you want to know more details about the proposed coffee date, you can ask for further clarification or do as follows:
- Ask whether you will go together or meet at the proposed coffee house or restaurant.
- You may show some enthusiasm and probably say you have always wanted to have coffee in a restaurant rather than a coffee house.
- If the person has not picked a specific place for the date, suggest somewhere you feel more comfortable. Do not pick somewhere too extravagant or very low in standard. Preferably, pick somewhere neutral.
- If the person picks somewhere you feel uncomfortable, propose an alternative venue. Give them a polite response such as “I have been to that coffee house before. How about we go to another coffee house?”
- If the coffee invitation is formal, such as one coming from your boss, colleague, business partner, or investor, keep your responses formal until you get to know their intention.
When saying yes to a coffee date, remember to match your words with facial expressions. A smile is enough when responding with “Yes, I would love that”. A full-on grind would be too much. Also, respond with some enthusiasm to solidify your positive response.
How to Say No to a Coffee Date
If you are not interested in going on a coffee date with the person, reply clearly. When declining, give a polite but firm response. You may think that giving false hopes is the right way to go about it. For instance, a response with false hopes such as “sorry, I will be busy that day” may lead the person to ask a second time. They will probably suggest another day, yet you are not interested.
The best way to go about it is to decline clearly. For instance, you can say something like “I’m sorry am not looking for a friend right now”. You can also say “I’m afraid am not looking for romance at the moment”. Another firm, but a polite way to decline would be something like “I respect you and would not want to lead you on”. Or “you seem like a nice person, but I’m not interested”.
Remember that saying no to a coffee date does not have to be aggressive. Be respectful when declining. Show the person you appreciate their invite without leading them on. Sometimes, rejection hurts. Thus, reject the date in an empathetic manner.
Is Going Out for Coffee a Date?
In most instances, a coffee invitation is a date. The most common first dates are coffee dates. However, you can ask the person making the invite why they want to go out for coffee with you. Do not be shy about asking for clarification, but do it politely.
All the same, coffee dates are not only for getting acquainted with a stranger. Friends who also want to take their friendship to the next level, say a relationship, can also go out on a coffee date. Also, colleagues and business partners can go out for coffee.